Even before you dive into this tell-all roundtable about women in business, be impressed. Getting six successful women together is a story of busyness and business. We women have phones that won’t stop ringing, businesses that need building and agendas to plan — throw in 20 children between us (some with the swine flu) and it’s a miracle we carved out 60 uninterrupted minutes. Listen in on this conversation between a handful of the female leaders in our business community, which, by the way, was recently ranked No. 2 on the list of best cities for women entrepreneurs. Talk about being in the right place at the right time.

Jeanette Bennett, Editor of BusinessQ: What is it like to be a woman in business in Utah County?

Cynthia Gambill, Remedez HairSpa: There are certain aspects of being an entrepreneur here in Utah County that are very ideal, such as workforce, the character and the caliber of women. And then there are other aspects that are less than ideal, such as historical ideas of what women should be doing here in Utah. The truth is there are more women in the workforce here in Utah County than men.

Jessica Devenish, Checknet: I always read that, but when I go to a local business retreat or seminar, I’m certainly not the majority. I sit at a table where I’m one woman with nine or 10 men.

Gambill, Remedez: I have 40 employees and they are all women, but they are obviously not the CEO or CFO. Many women in the workforce are behind desks doing clerical work or being assistants in law offices. They aren’t always attending leadership meetings or retreats.

Kathy Anderson, Fillmore Spencer LLC: We see a lot of entrepreneurial women coming to our law offices and starting businesses, but a lot of them are home-based. Women often like to find things they can do at home with their kids.
Laura Jarman, Dear Lizzie: We have amazingly talented women in this valley in all different fields — the caliber of teachers, entrepreneurs and artists is inspiring. It’s fun to be in business in this community because women — and men — are succeeding in their own fields.

Jill Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: My identity as a woman business owner isn’t really in Utah County because I do a lot of business outside the state. But I do know women are underrepresented in Utah County boardrooms. I’m usually the only female in the conference room, but I don’t look at it as intimidating. It’s wonderful there is at least that one female in the conference room. I do enjoy seeing local female entrepreneurs because they are adding income to their homes while raising children. That is the kind of home I was raised in. My mom was always integrating additional money-making opportunities into the home.

Gambill, Remedez: I have read that 40 percent of women in the workplace are the main breadwinners. It’s not just an addition to the family income — it’s the only source of income in the family.
Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: I spoke to the entrepreneurial department in UVU back in January, and I asked the chairman about the male/female ratio in the department. He said for every 10 men, there is one woman. So it is important for females to get out there and identify themselves in whatever business capacity they are in because we can make a difference in encouraging women to get an education and consider a future in business.

Anderson, Fillmore Spencer: At the BYU law school, 39 percent of the incoming first-year students are female this year. I think they will pass the 50 percent mark, and that’s a great thing. We have a few female attorneys in our office, and it adds an important dimension to have them there.

Bennett, BusinessQ: Have you ever felt misunderstood by other women in the community?

Anderson, Fillmore Spencer: In my neighborhood, most women stay at home. I’m the odd man out. How I view things and how I handle things are different than the majority of people surrounding me. Not that it’s good or bad — it’s just different.

Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: Like Kathy, I deal with being the odd man out. As far as being misunderstood, I’ve just come to understand that it is a part of me. As an entrepreneur, I tend to be misunderstood because what is going on in my brain might not be what is going on in everybody else’s brain. I can be misunderstood in more than just my gender. I used to live in an older community where the women had raised their children, so there was more career camaraderie among us. I moved to a different community, and it was quite contraire. Whatever our choice is, I would hope there would be camaraderie among us. I’m a big advocate of supporting others.

Devenish, Checknet: I wish there was more camaraderie among girls from elementary school to high school and on through adulthood. My whole life I have been misunderstood by other women. A lot of my best friends are guys — I have girls that are best friends, too — but it just seems that women are always misunderstood. There is never the camaraderie that you would hope among our gender.

Gambill, Remedez: There is a sense of trying to justify the fact that I am not home like a lot of my neighbors. I live in a town where most women are at home and don’t need to work. There is also a cultural background concerning women in the workplace that has affected the community — not necessarily for good.

Devenish, Checknet: Maybe I surround myself with women who all work because my best friends all work. They might not be the CEO, but they all work full time.

Gambill, Remedez: Personally, I don’t know myself without a career. I didn’t get married until I was 36 and had my first child at 37. So, in this community I am the odd man because of my age as well as my career choice. There are a lot of books written about finding the balance of your home and your career. What is balance anyway? Balance is different for everyone. I know what balance is for me. I know I can’t be at school and at work at the same time, and I have to be OK with that. It’s all about the choices and decisions we have to make.

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: We hear a lot about the “time and a season” concept. I’ve been highly involved with the schools in a different season in my life, but I’m at a different place now. It can be discouraging sometimes because you would like to be involved in the ways you were before, but you can’t. You gave it your all when that was your moment to do it, and now your attention is drawn elsewhere. I’ve been very lucky in my neighborhood and community to have a lot of support. They see the pull of the business and the intensity of the demands.

Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: Do you find it interesting that as females we have a greater need to justify or defend ourselves? Instead of having to defend why you can’t be the PTA president this year, your merits should stand for themselves.

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: We need to be mutually supportive. It is hard to be a mommy at home with little children. I’ve had women say to me, “I understand your time is limited” or “you work so hard.” But I’m thinking, “You work so hard, too,” and “your time is limited, too.” I appreciate that they give me that benefit, but at the same time I understand they are also busy.

Bennett, BusinessQ: How do you feel about balance — the word we all hate to hear but always think about?

Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: A partner at home is very helpful for balance. If you have someone at home who can prioritize the family and the home life equally, then it’s a huge factor. It could be difficult to have 100 percent of the needs of the children met when you don’t have that kind of support.

Gambill, Remedez: I don’t believe in balance because I don’t think it exists. But I do believe in good communication with your spouse or your partner or whomever you live with. Technology can put all your schedules together when you meet daily, weekly or monthly. I do believe people can become very good at scheduling; scheduling is more important to me than balance.

Devenish, Checknet: I cringe when I get asked about balance. My husband and I don’t do 50/50, we each do 100 percent. I’m not very good at saying no, but over the years I’ve learned my limitations. I have to say, “I’d really like to be part of that, but I’m going to have to pass this time,” which is hard as a woman in business because you want to be out there and be part of the community. But sometimes, you just have to say no.

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: There is this thing out there for women that says you can have it all — you can have your family, you can have your career. I‘ve decided I’m not a big believer in that. We do it all, but I don’t think it necessarily means we have it all. When one thing rises up, another thing drops down, such as attention to your children or spouse. And that requires a lot of sacrifice. When I really went full steam ahead with my business, it was hard on me and hard on them. Now we’ve come to a new balance because with time you figure out how to make it work. It’s good — it’s challenging, but good.

Anderson, Fillmore Spencer: You can’t be 100 percent mom or 100 percent wife or 100 percent businesswoman all at the same moment. You do have to know your limitations. That’s a hard thing to figure out. We need to say, “I’m just not going to do this” and feel OK with that.

Gambill, Remedez: It comes down to choices.

Anderson, Fillmore Spencer: You have to make the choices as to what works for you and your family. I don’t have a partner at home, but I have parents who support me and who make a difference so I can be a mom and a career woman and do everything to support my family.

Gambill, Remedez: I always think about when my kids are my age, how are they going to talk about me? What did she do? Was she involved with the community? Was she an educated woman who could maintain a conversation without shutting down? A woman in business is not just about money; it’s about many things in life we need to prepare ourselves for. We need to be our best selves and contribute in meaningful ways.

Bennett, BusinessQ: What have been your experiences as you employ women who are also going through the whole balancing issue we’re talking about?

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: I personally love it. There is so much we can do for each other. As women in business we can support all the different roles women have by focusing on the gifts of the person who is before us. Really what women can do best is provide an environment where they are safe, appreciated and understood in all these ways we’re talking about — families, husbands and challenges at home. As women we can let our businesses be personal and allow that part of it in. It invites challenges, but it also invites other positive things.

Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: It’s important in a business environment to have boundaries with the injection of the personal world. As far as females go, my first employees were my sisters and my mother. I learned a lot as it relates to working with family and females and integration. Ten years ago, a girl who still works for me called because her son had an ear infection and she had to take him to the doctor. She was going through the rounds of defending her position with this child, and I had to tell her, “Hey, work will always be secondary — your children will always be the most important.” It’s hard to maintain those kinds of standards when your business is on the line, but when you can maintain those standards, the employees are empowered to give everything they can.

Gambill, Remedez: When our fathers were climbing the ladder in corporate America, most of our mothers were at home. These last two generations of women started making it in corporate America, and we’ve added that female touch. For the first 15 years of my career I was corporate. I noticed the more women a company hired, the more the business softened overall.

Devenish, Checknet: I work with my mom and sisters, and we have an office full of women. It’s camaraderie in a very positive, passionate way. It’s like the “you go girl” attitude. When girls get past those misunderstandings, it’s such a powerful feeling because there is no stopping you. We can change the world as a group. We do have heart in a different way than men do. Sometimes it’s a strength, sometimes it’s a weakness. The heart — the word heart — is just different in a man and a woman. Not better — just different.

Gambill, Remedez: One weakness women have is we aren’t able to leave our work at work. We take the work home, and it may affect our relationships with the ones we love.

Devenish, Checknet: That’s when it’s bad. We don’t know how to disconnect and drop the anchor. We always hold onto it.

Bennett, BusinessQ: What other strengths do women have in a business setting?

Anderson, Fillmore Spencer: Like Jessica said, we view things differently. We’re able to see the bigger picture. Men are sometimes more narrow-minded, whereas women see the whole picture and how it is going to affect everybody. I also think the heart that we’re talking about builds loyalty with your employees when you understand they have a crisis at home. They are so happy you understand that it builds loyalty, and they are more willing to put in the extra effort.

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: Women are good multi-taskers. Women can juggle a lot of things in business — they’ve had practice.

Gambill, Remedez: We are resourceful because of the very nature of having to do a lot of things. We don’t shut our brains off when we get home. We keep on running, and I don’t know if I stop.

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: I like the energy that comes with women working together in the workplace or in the community. When you get hard workers together, great things happen. It’s fun and inspiring to see other women in action doing the things they do best. It’s like what you said, that “go girl” attitude. If we can be supportive and let social things drop away, great things happen because we understand each other.

Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: We are also good communicators. From my experience among the females, amazing brainstorming sessions have surfaced. When you feel trusted and safe in an environment to throw ideas out there without being ridiculed or criticized, amazing things happen. That’s one of the things I really believe is a positive for our gender.

Bennett, BusinessQ: How has technology been a blessing and a challenge as you meet the demands of your varied roles?

Gambill, Remedez: I could not survive without a Blackberry. I still have younger children — my oldest is 11 and youngest is 6. I am not sure if I like the idea of communicating with my children or my spouse via text or e-mails. But I’m fighting a losing battle because it’s easier to pick up this piece of technology and text my husband or my employees or my friends, but we’re losing a little bit of touch. It’s high-tech, low-touch. It is useful because it has made us even more effective and efficient. But it has taken away a lot of the nurturing aspect that women naturally can give.

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: It makes everything so much faster. You feel like your lives — your weeks and your days — go by so fast. Everything is so immediate with the information you can get and the information you can give. There is never any lag time. You can get your answers right away. It is a blessing and a curse all at once.

Devenish, Checknet: The one bad thing that supersedes everything is that you never disconnect. If I’m out of the office for a couple of days and I don’t respond immediately, there’s that level of dissatisfaction. I also feel like we’re never with the person we’re with. We are always checking an e-mail or a text, and there is a lack of quality in that.

Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: It allows us to manage more. I know my communication is pretty critical, but it has been important to establish boundaries. If you build patterns that teach people you are going to respond to their e-mails in five minutes, then when you don’t, it’s disappointing for them. We want to be there for others always — that’s the female in us. My husband is horrified because every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is check my e-mail. I say, “You know what? When everything is calm and good in my Blackberry, I can actually wander downstairs. But if there is some catastrophe that ensued overnight, I can manage it straightaway.” Technology is a blessing and a curse — but I think it’s more of a blessing than a curse.

Gambill, Remedez: It really is such a blessing. How did we used to communicate with our mothers if we forgot our lunch?

Anderson, Fillmore Spencer: It makes it easier to be out of the office when you need to deal with the kids or the family. Even when you’re doing something happy like a school program, you are still connected to the office, so it’s not like you’re off in never-never land when a crisis happens. For me, it makes it a little bit easier to take care of both sides. Most of the time, I see it as a blessing, but there are times when you would like to throw it out the window.

Bennett, BusinessQ: How has your career affected your marriage?

Devenish, Checknet: My relationship with my husband has been nothing but enhanced. We do work together, but we haven’t always. When I had been in business for four years, he came to work for us. It’s wonderful. I see disconnect with friends who become frustrated because their husband is late at work or their wife is late at work, and they don’t understand what’s actually happening in the office. We don’t have that disconnect because if I’m working late, he knows the project I am working on. If a client calls and needs him when we’re at dinner, I know he needs to take the call. I love having him in the office everyday. I look forward to spending the time with him. We go to lunch all the time. We are better friends because we have that second type of communication.

Gambill, Remedez: A working career woman is not for every man. For some men, they feel resentment. I work with my husband, too, so I feel exactly the same. But I work with a lot of women and have a lot of female clients who get home and have to fight the battle and justify being gone all day. There are a lot of divorces as a result of people fighting battles.

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: It’s the battle of who is working harder. My husband works with me, and we love working together. There is a lot of respect in that relationship because of the things he brings to make it all work and the things I bring to make it all work. The level of sacrifice on both sides is mutually acknowledged.

Gambill, Remedez: It sounds like we are pretty lucky in this room. This is not the norm — we just picked good men. Even in the 2009-2010 year, I still see that some men do not understand it that way — particularly in Utah County.

Devenish, Checknet: It makes me more grateful for what I have. When my husband can see I’m going to be late, I don’t have to explain. With the women who work for me, I hear the explaining and defending and they feel guilty.

Bennett, BusinessQ: Lastly, what do you want your daughters to understand about their possible future as a woman in business?

Devenish, Checknet: I tell all of my children they can be whatever they want. They have seen me do what I love, and I want them to have strong feelings for whatever they choose.

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: My daughter is 15, and she gets to be involved with me at work. I love for my children to see hard work and the results that come from hard work — to not be afraid of that and not shy away from that. My journey to where I am now in my career has been vast and varied. For my daughter, I want her to have an idea of where she would like to land someday and to enjoy the process of getting there — be it her education or whatever her work experience may be along the way. I’ve been amazed over my years of working with phenomenal women in business — even at times when I was the secretary — to look back at those moments and see what I learned even when I didn’t know I was learning. It’s part of what creates the person you are, and I want her to enjoy that.

Gambill, Remedez: I only have sons, so I know there are other mothers out there grooming women for my sons. I want my sons to choose women who are sensitive, hardworking, charitable and educated. But am I raising my sons to deserve that profile of a woman? I’m working toward trying to teach them the values these women should have. My job is to raise sons who deserve them.

Anderson, Fillmore Spencer: My daughter is in college, and I’ve watched her emulate me from the time she was 3, 4 and 5 by taking notes, typing on the computer or just doing the things I do. She’s always enjoyed coming to work with me and has seen me in the workplace as well as at home. She knows that’s who I am, that’s what I do. As she has gotten into college, I want her to make choices that make her happy and know that the possibilities of what she can accomplish are limitless. Whatever goals she sets, whatever she sets her mind to and wants to achieve, she can. Through hard work and effort there are no limitations. The most important thing is to be happy.

Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: I have three children. My oldest son is 15 and I have two daughters who are 5 and 7. The example of mom for the daughters is pretty clear. I, too, want them to know they can do whatever they want. What I struggle to do the most as a parent is raise my children with hands a little bit out, so I don’t try to tell them what their consciousness should be. If I tried to conform to what my parents wanted me to be, I don’t think I would be what I am today. I want my children to stretch their wings and fly.

Devenish, Checknet: We always play this game where I am like, “What about being a dentist? Who wants to be a dentist?” I have those conversations with my kids because they only see me doing business stuff and expect the same for themselves. So I am always like, “Well, what if you want to be a flight attendant?” I don’t want them to just see what they see in our home, because there are so many great jobs they might not even think of.

Grammer-Williams, American Name Services: But, the entrepreneurialism is still planted in children of entrepreneurs. My daughters are hysterical when it comes to this kind of thing. They do their lemonade stands on the corner, but their most recent entrepreneurial venture — which is different than what I’ve been exposed to — is they’ve started their own little Internet shows — their own “iCarly.” Throughout the neighborhood they put signs up saying the show is going to be at 3, and this is what we are going to do. While they see the different businesses we run, they have integrated business principles in their own way. They have turned it into something they enjoy, which is these little podcasts. And they’re doing it at 5 and 7, so bravo.

Gambill, Remedez HairSpa: In truth, we want our kids to be more than just happy. Many teenagers are happy watching TV in the basement or playing games. But author Carole Wiseman writes that what we really want is for our children to be happy AND productive. That’s probably the goal of any mother — to combine those two.

Devenish, Checknet: We need to bring out the creativity in our children. My 9-year old loves to draw. So I say, “You can be an artist.” And she says, “You don’t do that at your office, do you?” And I say, “No, there aren’t any artists at my work. But there are many opportunities for artists out there.”

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: You need to really focus on what their gift is.

Anderson, Fillmore Spencer: My daughter had a certain major in mind — accounting. But now she’s decided she doesn’t enjoy accounting. She had tunnel vision for her first plan, but now she’s changed to education and is thrilled and happy. Sometimes our children do follow our examples, but it’s important for them to broaden their views and see the bigger picture.

Jarman, Dear Lizzie: Among us, we have different gifts because we are all in different businesses. So our children can see what we are good at. I like that our children can see that our businesses are not just a hobby — they can learn that what you’re good at can be translated into something very legitimate as a business that can support your family.

Bennett, BusinessQ: Thank you for making time in your busy BlackBerries for this conversation! Now it’s back to our other many roles today!

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